A New Addition

I have a new feeling of terror. It blossomed on Saturday night when my dad approached me, hand held out. He shook my hand and proclaimed, "You are the proud owner of an orchid."

Well shit.

This is my orchid, Phaedra. Isn't she lovely? I won her at the silent auction portion of the Blue Moon auction (benefits Planned Parenthood). I was so taken by her bold pink blooms and broad green leaves; I couldn't NOT bid on her.

I know, I know. Those of you who are aware of my tendencies towards herbicide are wondering just what the fuck I'm doing with a delicate tropical plant. Especially after my psuedo-litho, Rocky, hurled himself to his death rather then live on my windowsill. Here is my theory: I'm practically incapable of sustaining a plant (cacti, bamboo) that requires relatively little intervention. Though, in my defense, I think the bamboo was destroyed by the introduction of cat pee into its environment (read: my, or possibly my former roommate's cat, pissed on it). I thought that maybe a plant that needs more attentive care (and cost $60) would force me to learn about plant care.

In any event, I spent a good fraction of last night learning about orchids. I'm fairly certain that Phaedra is a phalaenopsis, but this is based solely on comparing her to pictures I found online. I learned that the leaves aren't supposed to be wet. I promptly went over to her and blotted the droplets of water off her leaves. They like strong, indirect sunlight. This was a slightly more complicated issue to resolve, but I think I found a home for her on the end table. Unfortunately, my apartment has no south-facing window, which is supposed to be the ideal location. I hope she'll be happy sharing a table with my modem.

And yes, I named my orchid. I also talk to her. I want her to be happy and to thrive, or at least to survive. I will stroke her leaves. I will diligently check her moisture levels. I will obtain a fluorescent light (if I must) to supplement the natural light that may or may not be sufficient for her. I have no plans to make a showing at the Flower Show or anything; I just don't want her to die because I refuse to believe that I am capable of tending to a plant. And I really hope my cats don't eat her.