Instead of playing extreme croquet and eating too much Mennonite meat this Memorial Day weekend, JR and I went up to Danvers, Mass for my friend Brian's wedding. I've known Brian since high school; and he, JR and I used to get into small amounts of trouble together. Nothing too exciting, really; mostly hiding from the cops in Playwicki Park.
There wasn't any room in the schedule on the trip up for side trips, so it was straight highway driving. Despite the holiday weekend and all the dire predictions, we ran into almost no traffic. The weather was ideal, the company was good, and Roger did great on gas. We left around 7:30 am and made it to the hotel by 1. Which turned out to be a fantastic thing because we ran into Brian in the parking lot. It's a very good thing that there wasn't anyone driving behind me because I slammed on the brakes and flew out of the car so I could latch onto Brian.
After chatting with Brian and a few other people, JR and I went to see if we could check in early. We could and that was wonderful because it meant I could take a power nap before the festivities. JR and I both had very late Saturday nights. Her excuse was last minute packing and cookie-baking. Mine was that I wasn't responsible enough to toss BB (I think I can stop with the New Boy moniker) out at a reasonable hour. This is why coffee was invented, right?
Now for the hilariously awful part. There was a trolley provided to ferry guests to the yacht club. The trip over was uneventful. Disembarking however...not so great. As she was walking down the steps, JR's knees decided to stop functioning properly and she skidded down two steps and landed knees first on the ground. This all happened right as I was thinking how confident she seemed since she was walking down the steps without using the handrail. I went "Ohmygodareyou-" and stopped as she popped to her feet saying "I'm OK" and walked off like it was nothing. Adding insult to injury, she was the third person off the damn trolley so all the other passengers we already standing and looking in that direction. Oy. The poor girl had skinned knees and a nasty looking scrape along her right shin. The only small amount of sunshine? No one there knew who the hell we were. The time before the ceremony was spent laughing hysterically and watching JR pick skin off her knees. It's a good thing that I wasn't wearing more eye makeup because the little I was got all smeared from my tears of laughter.
The rest of the reception was, by comparison, no big deal. Except for the fact that we had no table assignment. That's right, I was crashing a wedding I had been invited to. I decided a drink was necessary and the bartender hooked me up right well. I think my second Malibu and pineapple was a triple shot. Still went down real easy. We didn't deal with the table issue until 2 minutes before they were going to introduce the wedding party. Then we discover that there was a handful of people without assignments but a table set up for them. I'm still not quite sure how that works. The food was surprisingly decent, but it definitely felt like dinner was rushed. I wanted more time with my green beans, dammit!
Being anti-social types, JR and I caught the first shuttle back to the hotel and spent the rest of the night smoking and continuing to laugh hysterically about the trolley incident. I managed to do a pretty faithful re-enactment of her tumble. I know it was faithful because I felt it in my knees and along my right shin. Lucky for me, I was doing my impression in sweatpants and on carpet so the damage was mostly nonexistent.
OK, I am seriously slacking at work, so I'm going to save the trip home for the next post. That is where you will learn about Dino Have, Holy Land USA, and how JR and I made an unexpected, hour long side trip in Reading, Mass.
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