I was listening to BBC News this morning on my local NPR station and heard a crazy story.
People lie all the time to get laid - this is not new information to most people. If I wear a padded bra and have sex with some dude, can he say it was rape because he wouldn't have boned me if he knew my true cup size? Or what if I used to be a man? Or a man who used to be a woman? Or any lie at all that a person would tell in order to get some ass? Where is the line drawn? I don't believe that some lady who is embarrassed that she banged an Arab should be able to bring rape charges against him. This wasn't a case of a boss using a position of power to tap that, right? This was two people who met at the supermarket and decided that porking in a nearby building would be the best way to wrap up their respective trips.
OK, I know I wasn't there, but obviously force isn't the issue here. Stupid lady needs to own up to her mistake and move on. Stupid dude needs not to be boning chicks while he's married.
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
21 July 2010
03 June 2008
Dirty Talk
A friend of mine just asked me if there is such a thing as "a beating with love." Before anyone goes off all half-cocked (or fully-cocked), we were talking about S&M. Let me start by explaining where the question came from.
I had to call maintenance (again) last night because a pipe was leaking in my bathroom ceiling. I had decided that nice wasn't cutting it. My friend made a comment about me issuing the maintenance man a good smackdown - he'd maybe even enjoy it. I said that the kind of beating I wanted to do came from a different place.
Anyway, back to the question. In the S&M arena, it's not so much a "beating with love" as it is a "love of beating," or "love to be beaten." For whatever reasons, some people veer towards rougher, or kinkier sex. Of course, kinky is subjective. I may like fingernails and a little hair-pulling while you think having your dog lick cake batter off of you is a good way to spend your Saturday. I would RSVP "no" to that invite, but I don't care if you do it.
The right kind of pain can enhance a sexual experience. Some of the best sex I can remember having involved teeth, fingernails, and an enormous hickey. I could hardly walk the next day but it was worth it. (Note: I am NOT a hickey fan. That was an exception.) I've also had a guy flinch away at the merest bite of my short fingernails. This isn't to say that the sex wasn't good - I simply had to adapt my style so everyone involved had a good time.
I think there has been a change over the last couple of decades. What used to be secret and dirty is now far more publicly acceptable. It probably has something to do with our society, despite remaining remarkably Victorian about sex, is being more open about what happens behind closed doors. People write books, blogs, magazine articles about sex. Sex is in movies, TV shows, advertising, and talked about on the radio. It can be a real bitch-slap when you're not getting any and you are surrounded by people having sex.
While I may enjoy a bit of the rough stuff in the bedroom, I don't get off on (wanting) to beat people when I am pissed off. If I did, I'd have a DSM-IV label slapped on my ass so fast. If two people want to go beyond missionary, that's up to them. Start a website! Make videos! Who cares?
I had to call maintenance (again) last night because a pipe was leaking in my bathroom ceiling. I had decided that nice wasn't cutting it. My friend made a comment about me issuing the maintenance man a good smackdown - he'd maybe even enjoy it. I said that the kind of beating I wanted to do came from a different place.
Anyway, back to the question. In the S&M arena, it's not so much a "beating with love" as it is a "love of beating," or "love to be beaten." For whatever reasons, some people veer towards rougher, or kinkier sex. Of course, kinky is subjective. I may like fingernails and a little hair-pulling while you think having your dog lick cake batter off of you is a good way to spend your Saturday. I would RSVP "no" to that invite, but I don't care if you do it.
The right kind of pain can enhance a sexual experience. Some of the best sex I can remember having involved teeth, fingernails, and an enormous hickey. I could hardly walk the next day but it was worth it. (Note: I am NOT a hickey fan. That was an exception.) I've also had a guy flinch away at the merest bite of my short fingernails. This isn't to say that the sex wasn't good - I simply had to adapt my style so everyone involved had a good time.
I think there has been a change over the last couple of decades. What used to be secret and dirty is now far more publicly acceptable. It probably has something to do with our society, despite remaining remarkably Victorian about sex, is being more open about what happens behind closed doors. People write books, blogs, magazine articles about sex. Sex is in movies, TV shows, advertising, and talked about on the radio. It can be a real bitch-slap when you're not getting any and you are surrounded by people having sex.
While I may enjoy a bit of the rough stuff in the bedroom, I don't get off on (wanting) to beat people when I am pissed off. If I did, I'd have a DSM-IV label slapped on my ass so fast. If two people want to go beyond missionary, that's up to them. Start a website! Make videos! Who cares?
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