As little as I am attracted to K, there is part of me that feels bad for not giving him more of a chance. 'Cause, honestly, there's nothing seriously wrong with him. And even though our date was pretty boring, it wasn't a disaster.
I wonder why I feel any sort of obligation. Sure, I don't want to hurt his feelings any more than I have to - because face it, rejecting him at any point from here on out is going to hurt his feelings - but his happiness isn't my responsibility. Am I falling into the "Fuck, I'm 30 and single and what if I never find anyone and is it really settling?" trap? Do I have some sort of duty to dig as deep as I can before I make a decision? Why am I such a victim of society's need to see me partnered?
Actually, I'm not a victim. There isn't anyone who is pushing me to pair up. My friends offer to/wish they could set me up, but that's because I've expressed a desire to be in a relationship. My parents don't skulk around, wishing loudly for grandchildren. I'm comfortable with the idea that a person doesn't need to be in a relationship to be happy, but I can't quite make myself believe that I wouldn't be happier with a Stimpy to my Ren.
03 November 2008
02 November 2008
Boring Recap of a Boring Date
OK, I know there is a handful of people who are hoping for a no-holds barred, action-filled, painfully awkward romp through dating hell. As much as I hate to disappoint my loyal readers; it wasn't anything of the sort.
When K called me earlier this evening, he seemed marginally less awkward. We agreed to meet at 7:30 to shoot some pool. And just for future reference, K: don't say you only need 15 minutes to get somewhere and then tell me you're going to be 10 minutes late. It's just not good business sense.
Honestly, the whole date was so uneventful that it doesn't bear repeating. K was a little better about asking questions and managed not to speak German to me the whole time. I beat him in three straight games. The only relative he seems to give a shit about is his dad. He likes sashimi but not sushi. When he muffed a shot he'd say Oh, bother!" with a British accent. When he had trouble sinking the 4 (the purple one), he called it the evil Barney ball. I tried not to encourage the weirdness, but sometimes I could think of anything neutral to say.
See, pretty boring. I was in fairly typical form. I tried not to censor myself too much because I wanted K to get a taste of the real Carrie G. As I did this, I came to a realization: I'm fairly certain that me being me is unbearably cute to K. No, I don't think I'm irresistible, but I got a pretty serious "You're stinkin' awesome" vibe from him. Quick example - I said something about how the family of my one ex seemed to like me better than they liked their son. K said, "Well, I can see that." This was before I explained how the ex abandoned his baby boy to hitch-hike across the US and a good portion of Canada.
As flattering as it is to have someone interested in me; I'm not going to jump all over it just because I don't currently have any other options. If I were attracted to K, I might be more willing to pursue this, but I'm not. He's a nice dude, but I don't think I have the energy to work through the awkward.
When K called me earlier this evening, he seemed marginally less awkward. We agreed to meet at 7:30 to shoot some pool. And just for future reference, K: don't say you only need 15 minutes to get somewhere and then tell me you're going to be 10 minutes late. It's just not good business sense.
Honestly, the whole date was so uneventful that it doesn't bear repeating. K was a little better about asking questions and managed not to speak German to me the whole time. I beat him in three straight games. The only relative he seems to give a shit about is his dad. He likes sashimi but not sushi. When he muffed a shot he'd say Oh, bother!" with a British accent. When he had trouble sinking the 4 (the purple one), he called it the evil Barney ball. I tried not to encourage the weirdness, but sometimes I could think of anything neutral to say.
See, pretty boring. I was in fairly typical form. I tried not to censor myself too much because I wanted K to get a taste of the real Carrie G. As I did this, I came to a realization: I'm fairly certain that me being me is unbearably cute to K. No, I don't think I'm irresistible, but I got a pretty serious "You're stinkin' awesome" vibe from him. Quick example - I said something about how the family of my one ex seemed to like me better than they liked their son. K said, "Well, I can see that." This was before I explained how the ex abandoned his baby boy to hitch-hike across the US and a good portion of Canada.
As flattering as it is to have someone interested in me; I'm not going to jump all over it just because I don't currently have any other options. If I were attracted to K, I might be more willing to pursue this, but I'm not. He's a nice dude, but I don't think I have the energy to work through the awkward.
OK, How 'bout This?
Due to several complaints from my loyal readers; I have changed the font color here at Omae Mona. Hopefully this will be easier to read. If not, I'm giving up on having any color at all and it's gonna be black-on-white Times New Roman all the way.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)