o. m. g.

You had to call the drug company to find out how many teaspoons are in two tablespoons? Have you heard of the internet?

Also, I weep for the future. I was in the bathroom last night at the movie theater and there were two teenage girls who could not figure out how to operate the towel dispenser. Dispensers that say to turn the wheel if no paper is hanging out. Can you read? Please don't breed.

Reading Material

Not that I would EVER use company resources to do so, but I have been reading these two webcomics. Both are very good and you should read them too.

Sin Titulo
Templar, AZ

Thursday Afternoon Randomness

For the record, Dave and Buster's has some of the foulest smelling bathrooms ever. And why, for the love of gender neutrality, is the womens' potty painted the color of Pepto? I think I have permanent retinal damage. I also learned that squatting/hovering when you pee can lead to bladder problems later on in life; something called Old Lady Bladder (or similar). It would seem that your bladder doesn't empty completely when peeing in that position. Moral of the story? If there are seat covers, use 'em and plop your ass down.

I have been a cat owner for many years and I still cannot figure out how a cat can manage to puke hairy green nasty right where I'm gonna step. Nothing like cold bile-infused hairball to really start the morning off right. The splatter factor was amazing, too.

A bit of info for the men out there; feel free to use omeprazole if you have prostate issues, or use Viagra. Because what's the point of having a northward pointing peen if you're all reflux-y?

I thought I had another bit of randomness, but it would seem I was mistaken.

Omegle, Oh My

Ever want to talk to a perfect stranger? And you don't even have the safety of shared interests to fall back on? Omegle allows you to chat with random strangers all over the planet. Shockingly enough, there is a fairly high percentage of pervs and losers. I have one convo start off with "Omegle is required by law to tell you that you are chatting with a registered sex offender" or something very similar. That conversation ended when I said I was legal. Pervert #2 threatened to rape me if I didn't say I was 15.

It wasn't all bad, though. Had a nice chat with a dude in Boston who owns a Jack Russell and is involved in MMA. Then I had an interesting convo with a young dude in Australia. He tried to fuck with me so I condescended to him. Things went much better after that. It's amazing how fast people straighten out when you call them 12 year olds. Anyway, if you ever read this, random 23 year old Australian stranger, thanks for the distraction and I'll be sure to check out Top Gear next time it is on.

Although I had not head of Omegle until yesterday, it's been around since March of this year. Tumblr has pages and pages of Omegle conversations where people fuck with each other, or sometimes have these funny and brilliant chats about zombies. Or sometimes it all just comes together.

I don't know that I'll spend a lot of time at Omegle, but it was an entertaining 45 minutes.

Brief Work Rant then GI Joe Review

This is another shout out to my cost-cutting place of employment. Thanks to their penny-pinching, I got coffee on my enrollment forms, my notepad, all over my desk, and I possibly left a trail of coffee droplets from the lunch room to my desk.

If knowledge is power, then know this: GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra is not a good movie. I didn't even think it was bad enough to be cheesetastic. To spice things up, I suggest smuggling in your alcoholic beverage of choice and taking a slug everytime they refer to their unit/people as "Joes". You'll be unconscious halfway through the movie.

The CGI during the accelerator suit scenes was Spiderman rubbery. The acting should have been so flexible. Dennis Quid was about as poseable as a GI Joe action figure. In Sienna Miller's defense, I could tell she was having a blast playing the bad guy, and she looked pretty hot in her skin-tight black outfit, but (nothing to do with anything) her calves are way too skinny. I did dig on her cool specs though. Channing Tatum isn't hot enough to get away with lousy acting and seeing Marlon Waynes shirtless wasn't anything I had been waiting breathlessly for. I thought Christopher Eccleston was fine, but I'm also enamored of his jug handle ears, so I'm willing to forgive a lot. Anyone psyched by the fact that Dr. Mindbender is in the movie? Yeah, it's a blink and you'll miss it scene. There's a part with the Baroness at the end that everyone I talked to thought was laaaame.

Some of the best scenes were with young Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes. Those kids whaled on each other. There is the obligatory training montage for Duke and Ripcord with Rip being cocky and Duke being stubborn. The Scarlett/Rip quasi-romantic subplot (barely deserves the word) wasn't squicky or anything, but you weren't really pulling for those crazy kids. If you want my opinion, and you obviously do since you're reading this, wait for the DVD. If you can't wait, see a matinee.

People Really Ask This

All right, I know this post isn't going to do much good, but I have to say something and the people at work are bored with my ranting (go figure).

Acetaminophen, naproxen sodium, and ibuprofen do NOT contain aspirin. Aspirin contains aspirin.

Thank you.