This Is Me: Bored at Work

You ever been on Craigslist? Sure you have; everyone does it. I was perusing the "best of" the other night and I noticed something - Craiglist is filled with articulate, funny people. No, no, I'm not making a joke. Yes, I realize that the "best of" posts are the best of thousands and thousands of crappy ones. Still, I read some pretty good posts.

It got me wondering about whether or not anyone has had a successful response to a Craigslist post. Like the dude who was looking for some hardcore rockers, or the guy giving away sod. I read the posts from chicks who are looking for a lame-ass guy to take advantage of them, or the sad-sack men who very carefully point out their faults in order to drum up sympathy. Guys, we all know that you're doing that reverse psychology thing. We know that when you tell us that you are anti-social, socially-awkward, gangly, bipolar, an unrepentant gamer, too nice, afraid of love, scarred by the callous bitch who took your heart and your dachshund, it's really a cry of "Love me, love me! I am a good person if only someone would look hard enough." And you know what? I get it.

I get it because I'm the same way. I put the worst of myself out there from the beginning. I generally refuse to sugar-coat myself and my, let's call them quirks. It's taken me many years to be something approaching comfortable in my skin and I'm not going to hide what's taken so long to achieve. I don't want to tart myself up when I go out because I'm the lowest maintenance person. I don't wear make-up, I don't fuss with my hair. I wear sneakers and flip-flops. I smoke and curse and say wildly inappropriate things.

OK, as I wrote that last paragraph I realized that I'm not being completely honest. I will tart myself up a bit because I know that someone can't look at me and see the awesomeness inside. The only way these hypothetical people have to judge me is on my appearance and I hate it. I resent every stroke of the mascara wand and every inch I hike up my boobs. I hate that I'll spout all this crap about not misrepresenting myself and then play the fucking game. Yes, I would like that someone, someday, finds me attractive (someone available, B), but I feel like people can smell the resentment and it is off-putting.

I don't know where I wanted to go with this. I could spend all day bitching about appearances, but this was supposed to be about Craigslist and I've been completely derailed. Wasn't I wondering if people ever had success with a Craigslist ad - specifically m4w, w4m, etc? I responded to an ad once. It was entitled "This is why you won't like me" and I liked it. My friend, jr, stumbled it to me and suggested that I respond. Unfortunately, the poster wasn't taking replies. I tried a post of my own, but got a rather lackluster response. Oh well. I'll continue on with my fantasy of meeting that special someone in the Fantasy and Science Fiction section of Barnes and Noble. Look for me: I'll be the chick with the messy ponytail and black Adidas shell-tops.