After my not exciting date, I wasn't getting the same level of contact from K. That was fine with me. With any luck, he sensed the lack of interest/sparks and was willing to let things fade away. Then, for no apparent reason, I couldn't stop thinking about him. Not so much of the "oh, I suddenly loooooove him" variety. More of the "why isn't he pining for me in a visible, ego-boosting way?" variety. Yeah, I'm a bitch. (I also realize that I use quotation marks too much. Oh well.)
Why is it that when he started texting me again, I was annoyed? Wasn't I just thinking that he should be pursuing me regardless? That my lack of interest shouldn't have deterred him? Am I secretly desiring a showdown where I gently but firmly express my lack of attraction? I sure hope not. I suppose I could do what my dad suggested and tell K that office romances are a bad idea, but I feel like that leaves things too open-ended. Like I'm saying I would get with him if I got a new job.
Several of my friends have suggested using K to get mine. One friend said I should get mine while picturing someone else. Pfft, like I haven't done that before. And I have thought about it. Just overwhelming the awkwardness with a whirlwind sexual advance, riding him hard and leaving him a quivering pile of movie-quote-spewing man jelly. However, I forsee a couple of problems with that approach. One, that's just not nice. Two, if he's as inexperienced as I think he is (an unfair assumption, but again, oh well), it'll probably attach him even more firmly to me. That's kinda the opposite of what I'm going for. Three, I'm not about the awkward, potentially bad sex. I know there are people out there who will disagree, but to me, no sex is preferable to awkward, potentially bad sex.
I really should do the grown-up thing and tell K that I'm not attracted to him. It isn't fair to keep up the communication when I have no intention of taking things any further. BUT! I still have the niggling fear that I'm not giving him a fair chance. HOWEVER! Not attracted is not attracted, right? RIGHT?!?
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