Danity Kane = Bad Role Models

As I was driving home from work today, alternately pelted with rain and besieged by sunshine, I had a thought: Danity Kane's song "Damaged" is going to create a whole new generation of females who believe other people are responsible for their mental and emotional well-being.

Sample lyric:

"My heart is damaged (so damaged)
Damaged (so damaged)
And you can blame the one before.
So, how you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it?"

We've all had shitty relationships and emerged from the wreckage, broken and weeping. Despite what we may feel at the time, things get better. Time heals all, and other applicable cliches. Some people can take that experience and learn from it, becoming a better and stronger person. Some people gather their pain close and nurture it in a garden of darkness. These people become bitter and angst-ridden, and are all too ready to blame others for what life may be lacking.

The girls in Danity Kane are beseeching a new man to fix the damage the previous man did. If you are going into a new relationship with that kind of baggage, I can guarantee the relationship won't be especially successful. People cannot rely on other people to provide happiness. People (friends, partners, family) can enhance happiness, but they aren't the source from which it springs.

I'm continually disgusted by the notion that a woman needs a man to be complete. I have had happy relationships and I've had not-so happy relationships. When I'm not happy I change things. Familiarity and fear of the unknown can cause a person to stagnant in an unhappy situation, but it is unfair to blame the other person when something can be done.

Don't for a minute think that I'm dismissing out of hand people in abusive relationships - that's a topic I'm not getting into. This is about taking responsibility for your happiness, and not expecting it to be handed to you, all wrapped up in a pretty bow.