My Utopia

I wrote this in May of 2004 for one of my philosophy classes.

I think my idea of utopia might frighten some people. Somehow I don’t think that having me lording over everyone as a benevolent dictatrix/goddess figure is going to fly. Having said that, I will try to craft a society that a majority can handle.

I would start out by legalizing a few things. Gambling would be legal in all states. The sheer amount of money that it would bring in to each state is mind-boggling. Of course it would be taxed. Marijuana would also become legal. Anyone would be free to waltz into Wawa and buy a pack of maryjane sticks. Since marijuana impairs certain functions there would be laws enacted similar to alcohol laws ensuring that people are not driving or operating heavy machinery under the influence. A certain acceptable level, if you will. Lastly, prostitution would be a perfectly normal way to make a living. Workers would have monthly exams, benefit packages, vacation time and any potential customer would be required to sign a disclaimer stating that they will not hold the house responsible for any marital problems that may occur. Not the lady’s fault (or man’s for that matter) if the spouse is creeping.

Time to tackle the employment issue. Somehow all people will hold down a job. If it entails digging holes all day then so be it. Any drain on the economy, layabouts and the like, will be ‘donated’ to science to be used for drug testing and medical advancements. The family will receive the subject’s pay until the subject decides that digging holes is preferable to getting injected with foreign substances, and then the subject will be released, or expires. The funeral will be on the state. Harsh, but too bad. My world, my rules. I know circumstances sometimes dictate that a person is unable to work. There will be some sort of public assistance program but having babies will not be the way to get it. I will address this further in the healthcare issue.

No more tax breaks for the wealthy. They will get taxed just as much as any other poor sap, if not more. Hopefully this will help eliminate some political issues. No longer will politician pander to the upper classes because they can’t offer the wealthy any monetary incentives to back the campaign. I’m not too good with the political angle, but it would be a one person, one vote system and there would be no political parties. Everyone who wishes to run for public office has to have his or her own platform and cannot use party clout to get what he or she wants. A certain number of votes, maybe a petition, would be required to enter the race. Maybe some kind of playoff system to determine who would be the final candidates.

Health care would be universal and doctors would not get grossly inflated salaries. Doctors do have a difficult and delicate job, but no way will a doc be able to practice medicine three days a week and then play golf and goof off the rest of the week. There would be no private practice. All clinics would be open seven days a week and the docs would have a rotation. Anyone fresh out of med school would get the crummy shifts for a while, but interns would not be pulling thirty-six hour shifts. I know I don’t want some bleary-eyed, sleep-deprived sucker stitching my body up. As for things like birth control, well, it would be required. And not just for women either. It is all well and good that many women are responsible and take steps to protect from unwanted pregnancy, but it generally takes two people, so guys would not be exempt from the issue. That way if one method fails there is a back up. Oh yeah, and free condom dispensers on every street corner. Some may say that this would encourage younger kids to start having sex, but that’s a parenting issue and I’m not touching that one.

Education would be overhauled. No more private schools or universities because everyone has the right to an education. Part of the taxes taken out of everyone’s pay would go to funding educational institutions. There would still be a small tuition fee, but nothing like it is now especially if one is attending a school within his or her home state. Gotta get some points for not running away from the parents as soon as possible. Teachers would get paid more because it is not the easiest job in the world. I know I don’t want to do it.

All people would have the same percentage of their pay taxed. I’d like to envision a world where there are no class distinctions, but people are egotistical creatures and someone is always going to want to be better than the neighbors are. If I don’t factor this into my society people will rebel and I can’t have that. A little competition is a good thing.

This all sounds pretty good. I wonder if I can purchase a small island somewhere and start building my utopia. We’d export excellent marijuana, have a thriving tourist trade due to all the gambling and hookers and no sort of laws because I just realized that I totally forgot to discuss the issue of the criminal justice system. Umm, murder is bad, don’t steal your neighbor’s wife (or husband, lover, dog, car, etc.), always vote in the elections and eat your carrots because you don’t want to go blind now do you?