I Don't Know Why

Have you ever been driving down the turnpike and seen a military plane fly over? And you wonder what you would do if that plane just fucking crashed into the turnpike, right in front of you? As you slam on the brakes, you notice the other cars swerving and suddenly, stupidly, you wonder if any of those out of control cars are going to smash into you.

Or maybe, you’re lying in bed, just on the edge of sleep and a rumble or bang from outside shocks you back into full wakefulness. What made that noise? Is it the apocalypse? What would you do if it were? You think about what you have and what you’d need. Shit! How do you deal with the cats? Do you cram them both in the carrier and lug them along? Because if it’s not the apocalypse, they are gonna be pretty pissed off at being man-handled for no reason.

You’re out on a date. Things went well – good conversation, good food, good beer. The two of you are walking down the street, still chatting animatedly. You’re pleased that there haven’t been many awkward silences and you haven’t run out of things to talk about. You say good-bye at a corner and turn to walk to your car. Seconds later, you hear the screech of tires, smell burning brakes, and hear an awful crunching thud. Spinning around you see your date, in a crumpled heap several yards in front of a black SUV. People are gathering around and you can see blood pooling around your date’s body.

It’s a gray and rainy Saturday. You planned on scrubbing the kitchen floor, but instead you boil some water for tea, and settle into your favorite chair by the window to read. The tea is warm and delicious, and the book is engaging. You are quickly sucked in and lose touch with the physical world around you. A knock at the front door makes you jump and you drop your book. You huff a small laugh at yourself and pat your chest, feeling your heart jackrabbiting behind your ribs. As you walk to the door, you realize that nature is calling, and you hope it isn’t Jehovah’s Witnesses waiting for you. You open the door and are greeted with the bore of a rather large caliber handgun, held by a rather scruffy individual.

One day, you wake up and realize that you created the world.