My friend called me "barking mad" after reading my previous post. I informed him that it could have been much worse. He said, "What if the guy reads it?" I said, "Meh." True story. I have chosen to voluntarily document parts of my life online. If I was worried about people reading it - well, that kind of goes against the whole idea of a blog, right? Besides, I could be lying about everything. Perhaps I thought it would be a really good idea to make up this crazy chick, who thinks odd things and obsesses about stuff.
I'm slightly ashamed of my reasoning behind my not-caring about whether or not the guy reads my blog. If he reads it, then at least he knows what I'm thinking. What? It's not a needlessly complex way of finding things out. The reason I cringe is because it is hard to say you're an advocate of communication when you don't practice what you preach. Even if he reads it there is no guarantee that he'll respond. In fact (prepare for some more imaginary conversations), this is what I think his thought process is:
Oh my. This girl is, well, sad is the word that comes to mind. Ugh, I'm embarrassed for her. Really, I'm cringing inside. She's a bit of a hypocrite, too. All that talk about communication and she can't even be bothered to ask me this stuff directly. Part of me wants to reply and put her out of her misery. Maybe if she knows I'm not interested, she will find another person to latch on. Then again, it's kind of fun to watch her second-guess herself. Plus, she's thinks I'm awesome, and I think I'm awesome, so I could hang around and see what other nice, ego-boosting things she might say about me.
Since this all hinges on him reading my blog, you can see why I'm not too worried.
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