Pharmacological Overload

I'm an online survey taker. I enjoy offering my opinion on different products and the occasional freebies that come my way aren't too bad, either.

I got a survey notification in my inbox that was called "How Are You Feeling?" I figured it would be for a new pain-killer or similar. Nope, it's about depression. I made the mistake of checking off that I do, occasionally, suffer from depression, and yes, I've been diagnosed by a HCP. Next thing I know, I qualify for an additional survey that should take about 20 minutes of my time. Since I'm schlubbing around the house instead of going back to work, I figured why not?

First, I am asked what names come to mind when I think about depression medication. For some reason, I could only think of Cymbalta, Zoloft and Wellbutrin. Then comes the advertising questions. The only ad I recognized was the one with the sad little rock hiding in its little cave. Now I'm being questioned on how likely I would be to ask my doctor to prescribe Zoloft, Effexor, Wellbutrin, Paxil, or Cymbalta. Unfortunately there is no, "I feel I can handle my depression without meds, thanks" option. And I'm especially against Paxil because I had a friend who took it and the withdrawal symptoms were awful.

My least favorite part of these surveys is when they have a list of statements and I'm supposed to pick which medications fit said statements. How am I supposed to know? I don't take any of these meds and I don't plan to. I don't see how the pharmas are getting usable information. Can I relate to Prozac? Not really. Does Wellbutrin understand depression? All I know is that my OB-GYN offered to prescribe Wellbutrin for me so I could quit smoking. If I'm not going to take it for depression, why the hell would I take it to quit smoking?

I'm now bored with the survey and I keep checking off "none" or "I don't know" for all my answers. Plus, it keeps asking me what meds I am on. How many ways do I have to tell them that I'm not on meds (despite what you, my dear reader, thinks) and I don't want to be on meds. I'm not going to ask my doctor to put me on Cymbalta just because I like the colors they used in their print advertising.

Lordy, they are playing sound clips of mournful guitar music. I am starting to think that the purpose of the survey is to make me crazy so I'll get medicated.